I won the UK National Lottery online Sweepstakes this weekend.
Amanda and her human friends and lots of other dogs won too. Congratulations to us!
I've got more pound notes to convert into dollars than I know what to do with.
I'll be able to pay off my ortho surgery bills and buy dog-ma and my buddies those gold milkbones they've been lusting after. Yours truly will autograph them. Woof.
I did find a real gold milkbone for sale online, under the heading "Green Dog Gift? Dog Milk Bone Dipped in 24 Karat Gold to Hang from Collar or Necklace." What the woof is green about this?
The ad copy says, "This is an environmentally Friendly Dog Gift. How lucky can your dog be to wear this real Milk Bone preserved and dipped in 24 karat gold! The ultimate pamper present for the one you love! Some real pet fans even buy it for themselves and wear it!"
Not this pet, nor my fans. I won't even mention the gift seller's name. I don't want to acknowledge or embarrass. I mean, how silly — not to mention wasteful! — is it to dip milkbones in gold and then claim them as environmentally friendly?
But one of the gift seller's products, the Recycled Bomb Aquarium, would be a nice green gift — if you waited and let the algae accumulate.
21 hours ago